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Walmart vs Target
Epic Rap Battle Parodies #30 is the thirtieth installment of the Epic Rap Battle Parodies series. It features a super-market store employee, a Walmart Employee, battling against a super-market store employee, Target Employee. It was released November 17, 2013 on SoundCloud was and released November 22, 2013 on YouTube. It is the fourth battle royal. Download Link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_A_WzbtEqk YouTube video Cast SuperCoolGuyJoe as a Target employee Justin Buckner as a Walmart employee and Paul Blart Nathan Provost as a Kmart Employee RLYoshi as a GameStop Employee LazySundayPaper as a Toys R Us Employee ChaoticRapBattles as a Sam's Club Employee (audio) Froggy as a Sam's Club Employee (Video) MCGamingFTW As a Walgreens Employee WoodenHornets As a Kroger Employee HarryPotter2875 As a Costco Employee (audio) DarkLink4749 as a Costco Employee (video) Mat4yo As a Mall Security Guard SuperThingsOnCups as Homeless Guy B-Lo-Lorbes' zacks channel live and RapsThroughTime (Fel) as random cameos Lyrics EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES WALMART VERSUS TARGET BEGIN Target Employee: I expected more from your shitty corporation But I payed less, you have no high expectations Always low prices? Bullshit, you know that's a lie when you sell a pillow for the price of a golden chained tie Wipe off that smiley face like you did with the retro star Your deli reeks of a homeless boy who just came out of the bar Get ready, Wal-Mart, I'm gonna stomp you into a flea market I'll pull out my bow, because you are my next Target Wal-Mart Employee: Talk about pay less when your economy is high Saying "Here pay 500 bucks for this cherry apple pie!" You sell expired food, and you're calling me a fraud? I'm the true superstore, scrap that, supergod Save money and live better when I kick your ass, I'm lovin' it Serving you frying rhymes with a Big Mac I've got prices that go down lower than your mother I expected more from you, stay on target, you bugger K-mart Employee: Attention, Kmart shoppers, we got a special offer, homie The ass-kicking of Target and Wal-Mart for half price, limited time only My cold rhymes will surely make you ship your pants With these big gas savings, you'll be left in a trance I got a gas station, a car wash, and a café! This shit ain't about the price tags, yeah, listen to Jessie J Discount your lines from this battle, Kmart's the one who'll win, My raps are true bargains, yours just belong in the bin GameStop Employee: GameStop it already, you so-called corporations Before I Bioshock you, Super Smash you like a PlayStation You think you're superior enough to make everything you sell overpriced? Have a five-dollar coupon and a Wii Points Card; buy yourself a life My shops are all over the world with all sorts of awesome names Micromania, MovieStop, Babbage's, EB Games I've got an Impulse to tell you all that I'm the greatest retailer So prepare to get crushed when I bring power to the players Toys R' Us Employee: KKKKKKK, yeah, shut the heck up and park it Go back to your clan, and step out of the black market I only have to open up my doors and the children come flooding in, You break, you buy, so you better get on your ass, and start cleaning You close your shop at 11 to have a break, I'm open all night, The only time I'd be a customer is to tell you I'm always right I may be Toys R Us, but this battle belongs to me! Screw Target and the 'marts, I make little kids happy! Sam's Club Employee: You can call me Sam's Club, bitch, I got the ultimate deals Crushing you puny punks with my bulk, leave you in rubble, for reals I'll put your ass on blast, you two marts and shit, selling everything on clearance just to market it I'll start a fit with wits, so let me target this, you motherfuckers should know never to come at this And GameStop, get real, what's with your shitty ass trades? I'm attracting buying customers, leave all your stores deserted for days And what's your giraffe ass gonna do? Splash me with a water gun? You're just a Toys R' Us Bitch, insert pedophile pun Walgreen's Employee: Alright motherfuckers, welcome to Walgreen's I'm the dopest pharmacy store, that you've done ever seen I have a hell load of customers, but enough time to fuck you up. I'll diss every aspect of you, from Wal-Fart to Gay-Stop What would you guys be without me? Just one pile of shit My service is twenty times faster, just go on and live with it We bring pills, ointments and plasters in all kinds of colors I'll bury you all alive with this shovel, only twenty-five dollars Kroger Employee: You cheesy crappy supermarkets ain't seen nothing yet I've got better products than all of you, we don't even need to bet What the hell is a Sam's Club? Man, just merge yourself with BJ's You faggots, you literally proved that stores can be gays You think you can outnumber me? Ha, you're really out of luck If you're not satisfied with the product, I don't give a fuck Toys R Us likes little kids? Huh, what a perv This final line is like my checkout, cause you just got served Costco Employee: Clear your shelves, I'll shut you down, I'll be the number one retailer I'd say the same for you, but you're all just failures These rhymes are just a sample of what I can do to you I'll cream you punks and turn you into quality food We're VIP, only the best deserve to enter You drain the souls of all your shoppers just like a Dementor You can't win, it's impossible; I'm afraid you've lost yo So drop like my prices and bow down to Costco Mall Security: The greatest supermarket coming in, who you gonna call? If you think you won't fall, then suck this mall's balls I've been around for ages, yet you call yourself history? When I was built, all you faggots wanted to come inside of me Where else can you get a video game and a meal? A mall is filled with everything, it's pretty much the best deal and Without me, you guys would all have nowhere to live, SO be thankful, otherwise I've got no K's to give Wal-Mart, I got Paul Blart, Target, you're not God. You aren't o-K-mart and GameStop's just got COD Step into my food court, you won't be acquitted Cause you're Walgreen of jealousy, fellas, you're all bitches just admit it Isn't it a gimmick when you're pinning down the king You're just little prick thrift shops, who think you can win it Well it's time to lock up for the night, your shift's done I've put you all out of business, and there are no refunds WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES Poll Who Won? Target Employee Walmart Employee Kmart Employee GameStop Employee Toys R Us Employee Sam's Club Employee Wallgreens Employee Kroger Employee Costco Employee Mall Security Guard Everybody Trivia *This battle has 10 characters *This battle is the fourth battle royal *The ERBParodies creator said "Bet you didn't see this one coming..." on the SoundCloud download description, and before the video starts. *This battle features every rapper from episodes 1-29 as background shoppers. *If you look in the TV's in the background, you can see clips from other rap battles *This battle is the fourth one to be edited and have the backgrounds designed by Justin Buckner *This is the fourth Battle Royale on ERBParodies *This battle marks Chaotic Rap Battles's 1st appearance since Ash Ketchum vs Gary Oak (Brock) as Sam's Club (voice) *This will be the last royale until the Season 3 finale (#50) *This is the first time someone's cameo appears so many time, (SuperThingsOnCups as Homeless Guy). Category:Season 2 Category:Battle Royals